The Mark Dykeman Web Niche

Can someone still be your hero when you find out they are a flawed human being like you?

In the interest of disclosure, I wish to assure you all that I don’t have a halo, nor do I expect canonization, beatification, or sainthood after I leave this world behind in 2469 (that’s my personal stretch goal for longevity - 500 years old…    :)  )  I’m just another flawed human being with my good and bad points.  But, like many other people, I’m always on the lookout for a hero, whether I encounter them in books, on television, in comic books, or in real life.  I look for role models and over the years I found some significant role models in comic books.  In fact, I took second place in an oratorical contest in Grade Six with a speech on the subject of heroes.  (I personally think that the winner got first place because she was a pretty girl, but who knows?  Oops, there’s a couple of my flaws right there:  jealousy and paranoia).  I didn’t speak again for five years, but I digress…

Back to heroes:  one of my favorite books of all time is The Road Less Traveled by the late M. Scott Peck (personal website and Wikipedia entry).  This book was given to me during one of the low points of my life and it was a revelation.  It talked about love, discipline, delayment of gratification, as so on.  You’ve got to hand it to a guy who can start a book with the sentence, “Life is hard,” and then keep you from getting discouraged.  His approach in that book is the antithesis of the modern day “quick fix” - instead, he writes that the good things in life require work and discipline and love provides the energy we need to keep going.

Peck’s book helped me dig out of a hole and move on to much bigger and better things.  This was over a dozen years ago and plenty of things, both good and bad, have happened since then.  However, Peck’s book still remains a source of inspiration to me.

A few days ago,while poking around a Squidoo lens that I had created about The Road Less Traveled, I revisited Peck’s Wikipedia entry.  For the first time I checked some of the references in the entry and discovered a couple of disturbing articles about the author:

Gin, cigarettes, women: I’m a prophet, not a saint

Pop psychiatrist who ignored his bestselling advice on adultery

My kneejerk reaction was to delete the lens.  This information, which had been there all along, certainly tarnished Peck’s halo in my eyes.  It seemed like Peck was talking the talk without walking the walk, as the saying goes, which diminished his authority as a guru or mentor.

After having had a day or two to consider and reflect, I’ve concluded that I may be judging Peck too harshly.  Granted, he comes across as being a bit of a hypocrite, particularly since he seems to have converted to Christianity during his years as an author, yet he probably broke a few of the Ten Commandments (as many of us have) at that time and for years afterward.

The thing is, despite whatever transgressions he may have committed, he eventually did confess to them.  I’ll have to assume that whatever happened as consequences were matters handled between himself and his friends and family.  Although his first marriage ended, he did remarry, which might have made him happy.  He had a combination of Parkinson’s disease and cancer upon his death in 2005 - that was probably no picnic.

Ultimately, The Road Less Traveled, like any good book, has to have a life of its own beyond its author.  I still believe this one does.  It’s a shame that Peck couldn’t live up to the standards that he espoused in his books, but in the end he was human like the rest of us.  He gave love and received love.  He caused pain and received pain.  Most importantly, he wrote about things that resonated with many other people and that has done some good in this world.

We’ve seen examples of popular, likeable people who’ve had falls from grace (Bill Clinton; other politicians; many Hollywood stars; athletes; business leaders; and the list goes on).  Today’s sage is tomorrow’s hack.  Fame can have a very short shelf life.  Your worshippers can turn into your biggest critics within seconds.  However, it might be best to divorce the person from their work so their work can survive on its own.  Most of the time it’s probably not a good idea to judge a man or a woman for their transgressions (although it’s pretty hard to let Adolph Hitler off the hook, nein?), their mistakes, or flaws.

I’m going to conclude with a minor personal anecdote.  As many of you Facebookers out there will know, there’s a spot in your personal profile to describe your religious views.  Like many other people, this is a topic that I struggle with on a regular basis, mainly because new ideas and insights continually influence my thoughts and feelings on religion.  After changing this section about twenty times, I settled upon a phrase that seems to work for me for the time being:

“Worship the message, not the messenger.”

Scott Peck was no saint, but he did describe some powerful ideas.  No matter who or what he was as a person, as an author he did make a positive difference in many people’s lives.  My views on his book haven’t changed much since I learned more about his life.  Who knows, maybe he was trying to straighten himself out by writing his books?  As a flawed human being, I can appreciate that and I can still admire his message.  Maybe if we’ve been transgressed against or let down by other people, maybe we need to remember the good things that they did and let those memories live on.  We can always use a little more light in this world, even if it does come from a slightly tarnished halo.